2021: Yep I lose my shit too — Day 17

We’d had a lovely morning by the pool, but I had stuff to do. So I wandered back to the camper trailer to pick up my laptop and Remarkable, then headed back poolside so Chris could go and get a few things.

Teddy then decided that he wanted to go back to the camper trailer.

Really?

Chris was leaving the camp ground, and he had the camper trailer keys, so I knew we didn’t have a lot of time but I really wanted to sit in the cool and just work while Teddy played and hung out with new friends.

No, he didn’t want to and the tears started.

This would normally be more than enough for me to say — no worries let’s just go but I’d just been for a long hot walk back to the camper trailer — and it was hot in there so I dug my heals in.

I got shitty at a 7 year old.

It happens.

And we still ended up leaving.

I told Teddy that he had to help with all the towels and stuff we had — because we weren’t meant to be moving, so we had a bit and to his credit he gave it a crack.

I taught him how to fold the towels — we ended that in tears too, him telling me that he ‘can’t’ and I (having calmed down a bit) reminding him that he hasn’t done it for a while and that he did a great job.

Anyway, I was packed up with everything, Teddy took water bottles and then we had to grab his scooter.

The one right in front of him but that he ‘couldn’t find’ — really?? ok moving on.

We had to get back to the camper trailer quickly before Chris left so we weren’t locked out — and it was hot — and I was packed full of stuff — and it was hot — and I was cranky.

We made it back with plenty of time but I needed time out.

I needed quiet.

I wasn’t managing my emotions and I needed to cool down — inside and out.

Later on I had a nap, which helped.

Chris was great, looking after Teddy and just allowing quiet time, and I had a gorgeous friend send me a gift voucher for lingerie…I’m looking forward to shopping!!

I lost my shit too.

I’m not all butterflies and roses.

I see myself lose my shit and I know I have a choice in that moment but digging my heals in doesn’t work, it creates more healing work.

Time to just be.

Today I’m proud of:

• Getting this post out on the day it’s supposed to be out
• Working and inspiring, and being inspired, by people in my online community
• Encouraging people to find their own voice and sharing with them that I too lose my shit — and the world still spins xo